His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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