No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
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I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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