well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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