I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize