Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize