I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize