i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize