It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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