Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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