He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize