Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
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i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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