I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
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