I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
are you so shy because you have an std?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize