I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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