taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize