The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Green mimosas i think yes
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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