He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize