i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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