just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
His nipple licking is glorious
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