is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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