Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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