if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize