He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
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I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
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in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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