Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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