I wish I could teleport
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize