I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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