i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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