i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
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i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
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How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I am one with the molecules
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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