My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize