omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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