Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
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So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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