He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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