I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
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I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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