btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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