areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dicks are not precious.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize