I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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