I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize