I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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