there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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