I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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