Duck Duck Cougar?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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