Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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