Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
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i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
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What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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