By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
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I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize