i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
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she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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