Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize