I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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