dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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