Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm jealous of your bromance
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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