if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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